diary post: honest insecurity, choker necklaces, and deciding to live with moose

“Let’s just move to Alaska. I think the moose will like me there,” I said to hubby, taking a huge bite of brownie, kicking my wedges off in the passenger seat.

He laughed and took the hand that wasn’t currently covered in chocolate crumbs. “No, no, no. Really. This conference was great for you. What did you take away from it?”

“I told you. Let’s move to Alaska and forget this whole motivation thing.”

Hubby shook his head and gave me that side-smile look he gets when he’s making fun of me in his head.

“What?” I asked, enjoying this moment away from trying to be professional and on my A-game. “I like moose.”

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We’d just left my first writer’s conference.

The truth was, the conference was scary for me from moment one until the minute I closed my car door and we pulled out of the hotel parking lot two days later.

You know, I remember the same overwhelming feeling during sorority rush. I loved going through rush, but once I picked my sorority and fell into the ranks, I looked around. All around.

And suddenly, I a wave of insecurity snuck up from behind and hit me like tsunami.

I wasn’t the only homecoming queen in our sorority. I was probably the eightieth one.

I wasn’t the only straight-a student. I was probably the hundred and eightieth one.

I definitely wasn’t the coolest one. Not by a long shot. Not by a loooooooooooong shot. In fact, was I still wearing choker necklaces? Maybe. Woof.

Not the point. I digress.

Look. Insecurity is dumb. I get it. We all know it. And yet, gosh, it’s so easy to look all around at the beautiful, kind, talented people and say, “Do I measure up? Let me see, let me just get out my measuring stick…”

I had a measuring stick at the conference this weekend. I didn’t know it, but I did.

It was, “Do the agents love my writing? Do they like me? Does one of them want to sign me yet?”

This measuring stick would determine whether the conference, for me, was a success or not.

And it was entirely the wrong way to approach it.

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At the conference, I was given honest, helpful, needed, and yes – painful feedback for my Asher manuscript. While the manuscript was given sincere accolades, it was also given about one million and five things to change. Kidding. Sort-of. Not really.

Plus, figuring out how to strike up conversations with strangers at a cocktail mixer was daunting. Especially while wearing business casual clothes. I prefer my pink pajama pants.

To make things even harder on myself, while I was doing all these things and taking everything in like an eager writer-sponge, I kept looking at other people:

Oh my goodness. She literally is the best small-talker ever. Oh my goodness, they’re laughing together. WHY DIDN’T I MAKE ANYONE LAUGH?

Oh my goodness. He didn’t get as many critiques as me. WHY DID I GET SO MANY?

Oh my goodness. She wants to see more of his work. WHY NOT MINE?

Commence the whole moving-to-Alaska conversation.

Afterward, I took a few days to regroup and process all the information I’d gathered, all the lessons I’d learned, all the contacts I’d made.

And what I found was that I was given a lot. I was given ways to improve Asher. (Isn’t that why I signed up for a critique in the first place?!) I developed new ideas for my current manuscript, Reagan. I accidentally met a NYT Best-selling author at the mixer who wasn’t even affiliated with the conference (my voice was too soft to order a water at the bar, so he ordered for me) – and he looked over my writing and coached me for half an hour.

Seriously. These were all awesome things.

And comparison and insecurity almost blinded me to them.

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photos by erica zoller

So, in short, fellow recovering perfectionists: let’s not let our own standards blind us to the gifts and opportunities right in front of us. Let’s revel in the learning curve. Let’s enjoy discovering things. Let’s be okay with not knowing everything. Let’s enjoy the process of learning and making things new, making things better, making things greater than we ever knew they could be.

Let’s experience learning as the gift that it is.

Let’s not let fear of failure bully us out of pursuing the God-gifted passions and desires of our hearts.

Let’s use His measuring stick, which is: I love her. She’s mine. I love how I’ve made her to learn and discover my creation. I love how she trusts Me enough to persevere.”

 

Also, let’s maybe agree to never wear choker necklaces ever again. They’re a little tight around the neck. Unless. of course, you love them. In which case, I bet they look great on you 😉

 

Blessings to you,

 

Robyn

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Diary Post: disney, universal studios, harry potter world, and lots of middle schoolers

Most of you know that mine and hubby’s intended New York Christmas Getaway turned into New York Hospital Stay. By the time we got home from that trip, Michael looked at me and said, “I think we need a vacation.”

 

So, we took one! And not a severe food poisoning/hospital one. A REAL one!

 

“But hubby,” I initially said. “All I want to do is wrap you in bubble wrap and never let you go on vacation or eat out ever again.”

 

“So let’s go to Disney World.”

 

“…Done.”

 

And we were off!

It was one of our favorite vacations. It was also, as one of my good friends called it, a “working vacation.” This means that instead of sitting on a beach all day, we probably walked the equivalent of a trillion miles per day because, Mickey. We wanted to do ALL. THE. THINGS.

 

And it was awesome. (Minus that brief dehydration spell brought on by doing ALL. THE. THINGS. while drinking ALL. THE. COFFEE. Whoops. Totes my bad.)

 

Anywho, here’s a brief way too detailed photo diary of our time in both Disney and Hogwarts, the latter being the place that seems to be withholding our acceptance letters. Hmm. Weird.

 

Bring on the Magic!

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I wish this picture could capture my squeals and how I spilled my beloved junior mints in the midst of unbridled excitement.

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aside from how ridiculously beautiful our “moderate level” Disney resort was, the bus system used by all the Disney resorts makes staying at any of them – value, moderate, or luxury – totally worth it.

RESORT TIP: When you stay at a Disney Resort, make sure to buy a souvenir mug. These mugs are about $16, and they provide you with FREE refills of coffee, soda, and water at your resort. Drinking a cup of coffee in the dining area each morning will pay it off easily.

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dinner at Disney Springs (aka re-vamped Downtown Disney).

DISNEY SPRINGS TIP: We ate at basically most restaurants here, and while the atmosphere in most are realllllly fun, the food isn’t anything stellar. So if you’re looking for a really nice dinner, maybe go outside of Disney Springs. Other than that, our Asian cuisine at Morimoto was AWESOME. I would recommend it.

Epcot

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We lucked into being at Epcot on the first day of its Garden Showcase! There were butterflies and Disney princesses everywhere. I couldn’t even.

EPCOT TIP: The food here is ah-mazing. Spend all day here and eat everyyyyyy meal here! Eat meals you’re not even hungry for here. Eat. At. Epcot.

The World Showcase opens at 11, so if you want to meet Belle (in France) get to the World Showcase right at 11 – which is what we accidentally stumbled into, and I couldn’t even. Basically I couldn’t even the whole time. Then Belle told me she liked my necklace, and so now it’s officially the coolest necklace I own. Because Belle. I still can’t even.

EPCOT TIP: Eat at Via Napoli and order their pizza. It is the closest thing I have had to authentic Italian pizza since I studied in Florence. Also, get a gelato sandwich (pictured above) which consists of two doughy cookies hugging gelato.

I know, I know.

I told you!

Eat. At. Epcot.

EPCOT TIP: Ride Mission to Mars if you like roller coasters. It’s INTENSE. However, do not ride this before eating aforementioned gelato sandwich….

…You’re welcome.

Animal Kingdom

 

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The safari was amaaaaaaazing. mylanta. this is when we drove through a herd of giraffes, right before a feisty antelope chased the zebras into our hummer. Not a joke.

ANIMAL KINGDOM TIP: Go on the safari FIRST THING when the park opens at 9. This is what we did, and not only was the line a lot shorter, but the animals were super energetic and happy since they just ate breakfast. Apparently they like to nap in the afternoons….(don’t we all?)

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Ever seen the movie “Holes?” you’ll recognize this little guy 😉

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Happy campers 🙂

ANIMAL KINGDOM TIP: WE LOVED THIS PLACE. SERIOUSLY. It’s like a zoo…but BETTER. If you have little kids, the shows are awesome. If you have big kids (or if you basically ARE a big kid, like me and the hubs), then the Mount Kilimanjaro roller coaster is awesome, and so is the Dinosaur Expedition. It’s way more fun being chased by dinos and meteorites than you might think.

Harry Potter World / Universal Studios

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Diagon Alley! This is my favorite part of Harry Potter World, which spans two different parks via the Hogwarts Express. Go on the Hogwarts Express. Because Hogwarts Express.

HARRY POTTER WORLD TIP: You won’t be the only overly excited nerd here. I promise. Also, eat at Diagon Alley. We ate at the Three Broomsticks and it was a fantastic decision. Ride Escape from Gringotts. It’s super fun.

HARRY POTTER WORLD TIP: Take a picture with the Hogwarts Express Conductor. He has an excellent accent.

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Hogsmeade! This is where you will find Hogwarts and lots of butterbeer.

HARRY POTTER WORLD TIP:: Hogsmeade is the smaller side of Harry Potter World. It also contains our FAVORITE RIDE FROM UNIVERSAL: Escape from Hogwarts. Do not miss this ride! It takes you through the whollllllle Hogwarts castle, and makes you feel like you’re flying! It’s too much fun.

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Somehow I’m braver with my hubby. I went on the Hulk. And it was awesome.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TIP: This is a park that is TEEMING WITH TWEENS. If you are a middle school boy, this is like your mothership. If you are not a middle school boy, perhaps you can assist them in their loud endeavors to attract female attention. Or, just be entertained by their attempts. You will not be disappointed.

Middle schoolers, I love you. You make the world go round.

Also ride: the Transformers, Men in Black (super dated, but still really nostalgic for us 90’s kids), and Spider Man rides.

Magic Kingdom

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This is by far my FAVORITE park. If you only have one day for a Disney park, do this one. It’s just not the same without it!

MAGIC KINGDOM TIP: While this park is my favorite, its food is my least favorite. Really. BUT the cool thing is, they let you bring in your own food and drinks!!! Since hubby and I knew this, we made a reservation at the Be Our Guest Ballroom for breakfast (which has decent food and an AWESOME atmosphere), and we simply brought PB&J’s and apples for lunch, which we thoroughly enjoyed.

Also, Disney has really good coffee. Which we also enjoyed.

MAGIC KINGDOM TIP: Don’t miss out on these rides: Splash Mountain, 7 Dwarfs Mine Train, and Space Mountain (for older kids or adults). For younger kids, (and really everyone), honestly the entire park itself is truly a magical experience. From tucked away wishing wells to walking through Cinderella’s castle to meeting Buzz Lightyear to nighttime fireworks…Magic Kingdom really is magical. I can’t say it enough!

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When I didn’t get into Hogwarts, I applied to buy this particular residence. Still waiting on that to go through.

Hollywood Studios

Truthfully, we only took two pictures in Hollywood Studios. One was me fangirling over Belle’s ballgown from the live-action movie, and one was of Walt Disney’s 2nd grade desk. Because those are the kinds of pictures I take.

HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS TIP: Hubby and I did this park in just half a day, and we were pleased with that decision, mainly because Star Wars world isn’t open yet. It was pretty easy to see all the attractions we wanted to in a short time span.

Similar to Universal Studios, this park was also teeming with tweens. (Again – highly entertaining and enjoyable. Middle schoolers, we love you. Don’t ever change. Except for you, young whipper-snapper, who sat behind me in the Tower of Terror and kicked my seat repeatedly to show the girl sitting next to you how you’re very mature. Perhaps you can showcase your maturity in a different way next time. I will be happy to assist you in this endeavor.)

All jokes aside, this does seem like a park for older kids, since most of its rides appeared to be thrill rides. (REALLY fun thrill rides!) Don’t miss out on the Rock N’ Roller Coaster and the Tower of Terror. They give you that fun stomach-dropping feeling. 

Also, my favorite non-ride attraction was the Walt Disney Museum. It was super interesting for the history buff in me, and was also very inspiring as it showcased Walt’s creativity and drive. I loved it. Loved it.

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It was such an awesome trip. I would highly recommend Disney to anyone – old, young, newly married, married for 50 years – it’s all magical.

We’re already planning our trip for next time 😉

Blessings and happy vacationing to you,

 

Robyn

3 pearls of wisdom for us dream-chasing, big-hearted, all-over-the-place 20-somethings

Hi, I’m Kim.  I have been married for 8 years and have the joy of being a SAHM to two little boys who are 5 and 2.  I am not a writer.  I met Robyn 10 years ago when I was one of her leaders in youth group.  I have had the privilege of being in her life since then.  She asked me a while back if I would be willing to share some wisdom on her blog.  I don’t feel like I have much to offer, but I would do anything for Robyn, so I made a short list of nuggets of wisdom to pass on. 

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  1. Take all your dreams and the desires of your heart and lay them before the Lord. He loves to meet the desires of your heart. 

And then decide if He is worthy of your praise, even if none of them come true.  I once had someone ask me this question: “If you could dictate every detail of your life, but not have a relationship with Jesus, would you?”  If I’m honest with myself, it is a little tempting.  It certainly takes away a lot of “what if?” questions that keep me up at night.  There are no “what ifs?” if I get to decide.  There are a lot of accomplished dreams and a very comfortable life.  But, my answer is one thousand times no.  Because I have learned that His ways are better than my ways and often times, He has things in store for me that are so much better than I would have chosen for myself. 

If I was in charge, I would be married to my high school boyfriend, who turns out, is not as cool as I thought he was and for many reasons, not a good fit for me.  And I would have missed out on my way cooler husband, who loves me so well.  God is good.  I actually told my now husband on our first date that my dream job was to be a Room Mom.  You know, the mom that plans the parties and goes on the field trips.  Luckily, that didn’t scare him off, because what I was sharing were the many desires of my heartMy desire to be married, have children, be in a place where we can live on one income and I can stay home so that I have the time and availability to be involved in my kids’ school.  So many steps, so many chances for things to go wrong.  But, so many opportunities for the Lord to meet the desires of my heart.  In His infinite love and wisdom.  Because He loves me.  And He is worthy.    

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  1. Cut the grass every once in a while.

Until recently, cutting the grass was not in my wheel house.  It’s dirty and not fun and it’s a “man’s job.”  I remember the first time I got out and cut the grass.  My husband was having a busy week and we had weekend plans, and although I had never done it before, I had watched him do it hundreds of times, and my dad before that.  So, I put on my oldest shoes and figured it out. It was something I could take off his plateAnd you know what?  He didn’t even notice.  I thought it was a prank at first.  But, then I realized that’s the point.  I’m called to be my husband’s helper, to serve others.  So I do.  Just to helpNot to be praised or so he will brag about me or do my chores.  But because I am able bodied and can help.  Serve others.  Especially when there is no glory to gain.

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photo by danielle hulsey

 

  1. Don’t miss the blessing in your current life season by always thinking about the next.

Oh, this is so hard.  I feel like it is in our blood to think about the next season.  When we are in high school, all we can think about is college.  Then we get to college and can’t wait to get out.  Then we want to be engaged.  The engagement season is hard because all you want to do is get married.  Someone asked us at our rehearsal dinner how long we thought we would wait before we had a baby.  And the cycle goes on.  But each one of those seasons of life can be so rich and was designed to grow us and prepare us for the next.  Even in the midst of difficult seasons, so many blessings only last for that season.  When you are in high school, your mom does your laundry.  When you are in college, your best friends literally live next door and are always there.  You learn independence from being single and starting your first job, and when you are married before kids, you can go anywhere with only one bag and no babysitter. There are so many blessings in every season.  Take the time to look for them until the Lord allows the next.       

 

God Bless,

Kim

My Diary: hospitals and Christmas lights and how gratitude is bigger than worry

When I was putting up our Christmas decorations tonight, I smiled a little when I realized what a messy house I was decorating. Literally. We hadn’t cleaned in forever.

But also figuratively.

I smiled at how stringing up our lights felt like inviting Jesus in – pausing in the chaos and crud of sickness and anxiety and uninvited trouble and just lighting the tree and praying, “Come on in. We’re waiting for You here.

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Michael and I took a trip to New York this past week. It was our intended “romantic getaway” for just the two of us.

One day into our trip, Michael fainted from nausea due to severe food poisoning. He hit his head and was knocked unconscious. I dialed 911 for an ambulance, and the Fields ended up in the NYC hospital in the middle of the night.

Can I be real, here? Awesome. I’ll be real.

I spent the better part of last week – the week we’d planned on enjoying the twinkling lights and selfie-ing with the Rockefeller tree and eating too much cheesecake and making a tally of how many Christmas lights we saw – crying on and off about the messiness and fear of finding my husband in that awful moment.

After we checked out of the hospital, I mostly remember double-checking that Michael was OK every five minutes for the remainder of the trip. I couldn’t sleep unless I could hear him breathing steadily. The shock of finding him in such a weak state, the what-ifs that circled my brain and clutched my heart, the emotions of completely changed expectations about something we’d looked forward to for so long, the shock that OMIGOODNESS I LITERALLY DIALED 911 LIKE THEY TAUGHT ME IN SECOND GRADE, the massive amounts of Gatorade we consumed in the span of 3 days, and then the relief that I still have my husband and HE REALLY IS GOING TO BE OKAY made my emotions look like the following:

FDJSAL548W58OHYGURHEW584%&TFJDSKHGFJDGFDSG??!!!!!! **chocolate break** GHFDL48WIAHURLV8T4YE!!??!!

And so, somehow at first, stringing up the Christmas lights back at home…with Michael sleeping on the couch because taking the tree down from the attic wore him out…seemed…I don’t know. Weird?

Like, instead of spreading little spurts of light joy around my house…anxiety was insisting that I worry about Michael instead. Worry about anything, really.

Instead of…spreading joy.

How opposite of our life-breathing Jesus can one thought be?!!!

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It’s freedom, really, this: I can’t add even a minute to mine or Michael’s span of life by worrying (Matt 6:27). I feel like Jesus told us that as a command, but also as a freeing gift: holding it all together just flat-out isn’t up to us. We are not in control. Blessed assurance, we’re held by something greater than our own worry.

And so, in an act of defiant praise to the Author of Christmas, I continued to string up our Christmas lights. And the cats continued to rip them down. And it turned into the sweetest of times. 

Jesus keeps proving Himself to be the author of real, unyielding, hopeful sweetness.

And guess what?

The hubs is MUCH better by the time I’ve posted this! A little tired, but eating and working like a champ.

And guess what else?

Our lights are twinkling brighter than ever and I’m so glad I didn’t wait until we had it “all together” to rejoice.

Merry Christmas, and blessings and joy to you wherever you find yourself this season,

Robyn

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thes 5:16-18.

the thing about hope

What are you hoping for right now, dear heart?

What are you praying for?

Please don’t stop.

Don’t stop believing the best.

Don’t let fear bully you into shrinking back from your hope.

And this is not the “prosperity gospel.”

This is the freedom-giving, life-breathing, hope-multiplying command from our Savior, our Hope Anchor.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…so now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor 13:7,13 emphasis mine).

My knee has been injured for over a year. 

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After months of trying-procedures-and-them-not-working, after all the money poured into this part of my body that was preventing me from even just playing hopscotch with my favorite littles, I finally had knee surgery to fix the problem.

After surgery, I was afraid to hope for a bright outcome. My fearful knee-jerk reaction (see what I did there?!) was to wait for the other shoe to drop and…my doctor – my doctortotally called me out on it.

“Robyn,” he said.

“Yes?” I squeaked. (His authoritative, tough-love presence makes me talk in squeaks for some reason. Maybe that’s why he always leaves the room laughing.)

“You HAVE to get out of your own head. You know, worrying can actually hinder healing. It’s proven. You’ve got to believe me when I say This. Is. Working.”

My doctor even knows! Medical practices even know the truth that God has already so lovingly clued us in on:

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” (Proverbs 17:22).

Why do we accept worry and cynicism as normal? Why? When the Author of our very own hearts has given us a better, life-breathing way?

For me, it’s simply fear. Fear of the unknown, I suppose.

But by God’s grace, I will not be bullied by fear anymore.

No.

And it’s true: I don’t know the outcome of what my knee will look like a year from now. A month from now. Tomorrow.

I don’t know.

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But faith hopes for the things not seen and I know my God has told me, “Pray to Me honestly. Tell Me the desires of your heart. After all, I know them already. Don’t hide from Me.”

Father, I want to run again. I want to skip and hop and bound down the stairs, Lord. It’s what I want. I want to be hopeful and unashamed. Please heal my knee. Please fill me with Your hope and Your peace and Your Perfect Love, which casts out all my fear.

And suddenly, Jehovah Shalom comforts and quiets and yet at the same time, makes my heart fill with hope like a deer prancing upon the heights (Ps 18:33).

I don’t know what my knee will look like tomorrow. I’m not saying the lie that you can “Just picture it and it will happen!” Because that’s a big, fat lie.

But God tells us, He commands us, to hope. Not because we always get everything we want, but because hope is truly the language, the thought-pattern, the heart medicine from the Lover of our hearts Himself that balms over fear, transforming it into trust.

I will choose a cheerful heart: the heart that stares uncertainty in the face and says “My God is able. My God is Healer. And He loves me. I will not be afraid. I am in His hands.”

“Now may the God of hope fill [us] with all joy and peace as [we] trust in Him, so that [we] may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom 15:13).

Grace, peace, and hope you, beloved hearts,

Robyn

[work-from-homers] & [stay-at-home-moms]: wins, losses, and the ever-present question of how long is it socially acceptable to stay in one’s pajamas?!

Hey there! Lots of you know that working for yourself OR working from home OR being a stay-at-home mama is [[ a w e s o m e ]].

It will also, given enough time, drive you to having full-on convos with the cat. Or with the TV. During your lunch break. Because the judges CLEARLY “chopped” the wrong chef, and so it’s up to you to explain that to the screen with a mouth full of Cheetos.

(Oh, that’s just me? Oh….cool.)

Anyhoo, let’s just cut to the chase. I’ve divided today’s diary into 3 parts: wins, losses, and pajamas.

I’ll start with wins.

Working for Myself: Wins

  1. PAJAMA TIME PAJAMA TIME PAJAMA TIME!!! (!!!)
  2. The ability to take breaks without people staring at me because I’m walking in place while watching re-runs of Downton Abbey just to rack up points on my fitbit.
  3. Picking my hours. If I have an errand or appointment, I can do some work at a different time and it’s totes no bigimg_0246
  4. I just flat-out love my job. I get to spend ALL DAY with characters I love. It’s the best. I feel like I have adventures all day without even leaving the desk…did I mention I’m a cat lady?
  5. Working at the library has become one of my FAVORITE THINGS. BOOKS ON BOOKS ON BOOKS.
  6. …it’s 3:21 p.m. and it’s STILL PAJAMA TIME!!!!!!!! People of the world!!! It’s 5:00 somewhere and this girl is STILL IN HER PAJAMAS!!! #winning

Working for Myself: Losses

  1. Why am I still in my pajamas? Is this socially acceptable? It’s so comfy…but seriously. Is this normal?” [commence going back-and-forth in my head while staring at my clothes, thus wasting an entire break when I could have been walking in step with Lady Mary.]
  2. Extroverted me needs people. All the people. Please?!! People?!! Hello? Bueller?
  3. Picking my hours…sometimes it’s actually really hard to stop working and turn it off when the day is over.
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  5. Tucker tears up the furniture when I’m not giving him enough attention. But he also tears up the furniture when I do give him attention, so maybe that one doesn’t count.
  6. When I actually forget to take breaks…and then at the end of the day I’m drained.

Working for Myself: Pajamas

People!!! When on earth are we supposed to change out of our pajamas?!!! This is the most important question of the year. Feel free to tell me your answer. I might listen. Unless you tell me to put on normal people clothes. In which case I won’t listen. And I’ll go buy more pajamas. 😉

 

Blessings and a productive day to you,

Robyn

Recovery Diary: my knee is the size of my head, but at least I’ve watched 37 episodes of Saved by the Bell

It’s two weeks post-op! Whoop, whoop!

So I was thinking…what can I write my diary about this week? I haven’t done anything but watch Kelly and Zack go to prom and then break up and then go to prom again. (Not that I’m complaining about this.)

So…here it is!

Recovery Diary of my Saturday (a.k.a – confirmation that your weekend WAS way cooler than somebody’s 😉 )

9:00 a.m. Yay! Time to get out of bed! I love Saturdays!

9:15 a.m. But I don’t want to move. Moving is hard. Plus, I can totally watch Zack and Kelly from this very spot…

9:16 a.m. …But I can’t watch the Pioneer Woman from this spot. Darn it. Okay. I’ll move.

10:00 a.m. I’m on the couch!! I’m on the couch!! Whoop, whoop!

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turns out, classic mixed veggies are the best ice pack. who knew?

1:00 p.m. I just watched three straight hours of TV! I’m winning!

1:01 p.m. No, that’s totally not true. I am literally going crazy. If I do not get out of this house right now I will never watch Saved by the Bell ever again. And I mean it!

Just kidding. Yes I will. I will always watch Saved by the Bell.

1:15 p.m. Hubby and I go on what we call “a crutch.” This is like a walk, but it’s more of a…crutch-type hobble to a pair of trees and back. It’s a grand, epic adventure, I tell you.

1:20 p.m. The trees! They’re so beautiful and red and totally worth getting off the couch for! And the air is crisp and I love the wreath on that person’s door and as annoying as recovery is…I can’t think of a better time to recover than in October. It’s the most beautiful recovery time I can imagine.

1:25 p.m. Time for physical therapy exercises. I love these. And today I’m extra excited because I bent my knee farther than 90 degrees while sitting!!! I’M WINNING! I pat myself on the back. Literally.

1:45-6:00 p.m. Couch time. Thankfully, I love Narnia. C.S. Lewis, you are brilliant and I thank you for the world you created in these books.

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6:30 p.m. Extroverted me is going crazy. “I need people,” I tell Hubby.

Hubby loads me in the car to see the people.

Hubby also calls one of his people to ride with us. This person is also on crutches! We load 4 crutches in the car to go see our people. I like having another crutch buddy!

7:00 p.m. MY PEOPLE!!!! MY PEOPLE!!! SOCIAL INTERACTION!!!! AND….WHAT’S THAT? YOU HAVE PUMPKIN BREAD AND S’MORES?!!!!! WINNING. MY PEOPLE WIN.

9:30 p.m. We can’t stay long with the people, because my leg still needs to be elevated at pretty much…well, all the time…until the swelling goes down. But at least I saw my people. And a crackling fire pit. And sugary treats.

Recovery in October. It really is the best. You know. Instead of like, January.

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the “crutch mobile”

10:00 p.m. Time for Zack and Kelly. This is the episode where Jesse and Slater get stuck in the boiler room while everybody else is at prom. But it’s okay! Because this is also where they realize they actually love each other. (But duh. I could have told them this fact about 15 episodes ago.)

Jesse and Slater. Gosh. You guys.

You’re the best.

Now I just need Kelly and Zack to get back together.

I wonder if Saved by the Bell “College Years” is on Netflix, too…

…hmm…that will be my project for tomorrow!

#winning.

*Side note: all my people who have brought me food, visited with me, driven me places, and sent me funny cat pictures…YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BEST. Love you guys!!